Without a doubt, there is an added attack upon biblical, traditional families today!
Ephesians 5:21–25
“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”
Any spiritual person can see that this attack is not new, but Satan has been doing his best to erode the family unit since the beginning of time. Once again, it is not that we need to yield defeat in the family, but we do need to strengthen our defenses and even go on the offense to protect our family and help those around us.
The Scriptures have much to say by way of examples of godly families along with direct instructions for a Christ-honoring family. Perhaps the few verses that most influence me with my marriage and family are the ones in Ephesians 5:21-33. There are some simple, yet practical, principles and examples for the family relationship.
Relationship based upon Example
As with everything else in our lives, our ultimate example is Christ. There are three areas from Ephesians 5 where Christ shows us the proper example in our family relationships. God begins by showing us the example of proper leadership in the home. Verse 23 reminds us that, “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Saviour of the body.”
There is biblical leadership that God has ordained for the home structure. This does not make one more important in the relationship than the other one, but God is defining roles in the home for it to operate and minister more effectively. God’s plan is for the husband to be the spiritual leader of the home and to lead and direct the home according to biblical principles. Any time this example that Christ gave to us is out of order, it will cause chaos, disunity, and struggles inside the home.
Family is our first ministry.
Christianity begins at home. Let us strive to have faithful families that honor the Lord.
Christ continues to give us the example of proper love in the home beginning in Ephesians 5:25. It is amazing today what people have for their view of love today. That term is being redefined and misused across society and I am afraid it is creeping into our churches. Young people are growing up with a warped and unbiblical understanding of what true love is. We are reminded that Christ loved the church and “gave himself for it.” That is the pattern that husbands should be using for how we love our wives. What a convicting thought that the sacrifice Christ made for us should be exemplified in the love for the wife. Over the past several months I have been convicted by the thought that my wife should feel just as much loved by me as I feel loved by Jesus. Is that the case in our families or do we just try to get by and say, “It will be alright?” No wonder marriages and families are falling apart. It is because we are not loving like the example Christ gave to us.
The final example that Christ gave to us for our family relationship is the proper leaving that is to take place in a family. We have all heard the phrase, “leave and cleave” when it comes to marriage. This phrase is taken from Ephesians 5:31. Younger families and couples need to be reminded that a husband is to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. Yes, many times this includes the physical aspect of moving out of the parent’s basement, but more importantly, it is to show the wife that she is his whole world now. What a blessing it is that Jesus left His Father in Heaven and came to this earth for His bride.
For proper leaving to take place, the husband must put 100% of his love and attention on to his bride and family to make sure they are walking the path that God desires of them. I was told to “cut the apron strings” and not go running home to Momma when I was getting married.
Relationship based upon Selflessness
As Christ continues to help our family relationships in Ephesians 5, we see that He exemplifies and then encourages us in this matter of selflessness.
First, we should be selfless in our submission to one another. I know, all the men love to go to Ephesians 5:22 and proclaim, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,” but let us remember that verse 21 comes before verse 22. This verse states, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”
There has always been mutual submission that God has guided us in for our family relationships. The husband is not the dictator in the home neither is the wife the controller or drill sergeant in the home. As previously stated, there are God-given roles in the home and God desires that we submit to Him first, then to each other as exemplified in Scripture.
In this matter of mutual submission, I believe that marriage is to be each spouse contributing 100% in their giving and submitting to each other. Don’t be the one that gives 50% to your spouse because that is not being selfless in our submission. Give each other 100% because that is the example we have of Christ.
Second, in our relationship that is based upon selflessness, we should be spotless in our purity in the family relationships.
This subject could be an entire article by itself. Many books and courses have been written about this subject matter. For the brevity of this article, I will simply call our attention to verses 26-27 of Ephesians 5. The desire of Christ for His church is for it to be glorious, spotless, without wrinkle, holy, and without blemish. God will present to Christ this quality of a church. It is these characteristics that are mentioned and then said in verse 28, “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.” The impurities that husbands, wives, and families allow into their homes today is against the very purpose that God has for the family. Just as the church is to be spotless before Christ, our homes should be the purest sanctuary that we can abide in. Do not allow the filth of this world to blemish the purity of your home that you are entrusted with by God. Consistently be cleaning the home with the presence of the Word of God to ensure its purity for the family and its purity before God.
Finally, it is seen in Ephesians 5 that the selflessness of our family relationship should be savored in our affection. There should not be any place else or anyone else that our family should feel greater love from than they do in the home. Be assured that if a spouse or child does not receive the love they need at home then they will be looking for it somewhere else.
Paul closed out in chapter 5 with the exhortation for the husband to love the wife and the wife to reverence the husband. We wonder today why so many marriages and families are breaking up. There is not the proper love and affection in the home. It should be savored, cherished, and protected at all cost. Do not let anything come between the love in the home. As we are given here in this passage over and over, Christ is the example for our relationship and He is the example of love in the relationship.
It is said in Romans 8:38-39 that nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. May this be true in our Christian families today! Love each other, cherish the relationships, submit to one another, and have the Christ-honoring family that He teaches us to have.